Richelle Hofer

Breaking free from the voice that says you’re never enough.

Tomorrow is the 4th of July—Independence Day. A day we celebrate freedom, courage, and the bold act of declaring something different for our future.

And this year, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to break free—not from a country or a regime (although, those thoughts may have also crossed my mind – ha!), but from something quieter and more personal.

The voice in my head.

The one that says:

• Try harder.
• Be better.
• Don’t mess this up.
• You’re only as good as your last success.

That voice didn’t appear out of nowhere. It was shaped over years—by a culture of perfectionism, by the pressure to prove myself in a male-dominated industry, and by years of feeling like the goalposts were moved every time I reached them.

I worked hard. Really hard. I hit unreachable goals. I stayed late. I bent over backwards to deliver excellence. But no matter what I did, it never felt like enough. The message was clear: If I succeeded, the goal must not have been high enough. And if I fell short, I clearly should’ve worked harder.

Looking back now, I can see what I couldn’t see then.

That what I was experiencing was emotional and psychological strain—the slow kind of trauma. The kind that doesn’t come from one big event, but from a thousand small moments of not feeling seen, not feeling valued, not feeling safe. The kind that rewires the voice in your head until it sounds like your own.

And here’s the complicated part: I still believe in excellence. In growth. In showing up and giving your best.

But I’ve learned that without balance, those values can twist into something damaging. Excellence becomes exhaustion. Drive becomes despair. Achievement becomes an endless chase for worthiness.

So this year, I’ve been working on a different kind of independence:

• Freedom from the constant need to prove.
• Freedom from leadership that thrives on scarcity and shame.
• Freedom from internal scripts that no longer serve me.

I’m learning to hold two truths at once:

• You can do better.
• You are already enough.

This is hard work. Especially when the voice in your head still sounds like the person who made you feel small. Especially when the world celebrates hustle and grind, but doesn’t always recognize quiet courage or personal healing.

But every time I speak the truth instead of striving for approval, I chip away at the chains. Every time I listen to my own intuition instead of someone else’s judgment, I walk a little more freely. And every time I choose rest over proving, peace over perfection, grace over guilt—I am choosing independence.

If you’re walking that same path, I want you to know:
You’re not alone.
You’re not crazy.
And you’re not weak for wanting a different way.

Because sometimes the most radical thing you can do is to stop hustling for your worth—and simply claim your freedom.