Richelle Hofer

When I was in high school I briefly dated a wrestler. I hadn’t ever had much exposure to the sport of wrestling and I quickly came to the conclusion that wrestlers are crazy 😂 – always trying to cut weight, eating nothing for days, sleeping with a million blankets to sweat off the pounds…

Wrestlers might be a little crazy, but over the years I’ve really begun to appreciate the art of wrestling – not so much physical wrestling but mental wrestling.

Both mental and physical wrestling involves studying your opponent… getting to know them from every angle. When you think you understand them you attempt to “take them to the ground”. When the “takedown” doesn’t work you get back up and study some more… learning more and more with each take down attempt.

“Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them.” Romans 12:9 NLT

I have been wrestling with this verse since January 30th, 2021 – pretty much two years – studying it from every angle. A couple of times I’ve thought I understood it and attempted to pin it down, but I haven’t been able to conquer it. I have continued to wrestle.

What does it mean to really love people?

Does this verse mean “all” people?

What about the people who really drive me crazy? Or the people who have intentionally hurt me?

What even is love?

For most of my life I have thought of love as a warm positive feeling toward someone. The idea of conjuring up warm positive feelings for EVERYONE seems ridiculous… and GENUINE warm positive feelings for everyone seems flat impossible.

A few weeks ago during my devotion time I was reading in 1 John when I came to this verse “Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” (1 John 3:18)

WITH ACTIONS and IN TRUTH.

Love is action not a feeling …. we can act in love even when we don’t feel in love… and in fact, that’s the REAL DEAL.

Acting in love even absent of feelings is real love.

So how do we “really love” people? We have to take genuine action.

How do I love the people that drive me crazy? I don’t have to pretend to like them… I just have to take action and treat them with respect and humility.

Those people who intentionally hurt me? I “really love them” by taking the action of forgiveness and by praying for them. It won’t be easy but it’s not impossible and who said love would be easy?

No more stressing over conjuring up “genuine” feelings for people who drive me crazy or treat me badly… I think I’m ready to attempt another takedown 🙂