Richelle Hofer

Text, email, phone, blogs, social media, written words, spoken words, body language… we are CONSTANTLY communicating.

We communicate SO much, you would THINK that we should be good at it! But MISCOMMUNICATION happens every day.

We’ve all seen the “Let’s eat kids. Let’s eat, kids. Comma’s save lives” meme… or hilarious miscommunications over the double meanings of words, or literal interpretations of figurative phrases. (Here’s a link to a funny list if you want some examples)

Sometimes the problem is in our choice of words and sometimes the problem is with our ASSUMPTIONS.

Like when I get busy and I respond to a text with a quick “k” on the way out the door (guilty). The person on the receiving end may assume that I am mad.

Or when I AM the person on the receiving end of the text and I immediately think “oh, no, what did I do to make her mad?”

Brené Brown teaches that in the absence of facts, our minds make up stories (assumptions). “What did I do to offend her? I bet she’s mad about ___________” (fill in the blank) “She probably thinks_________”

While some miscommunications are funny, harmless and GENERALLY discovered quickly, far too often they can turn serious, personally damaging and never even get recognized as miscommunications at all.

I believe that GOOD communication and positive assumptions are the answer to just about every problem in the world. Generally speaking I am a good communicator … and yet I still struggle with miscommunications over and over. (for one thing, my face betrays me… try as I may, I cannot help the RBF. I digress)

How many times has this happened to you? Life is going in a million directions, some interaction sets you a little sideways, you know you should talk to the person but you’re busy so you don’t. You make some assumptions about them, you spin stories in your head, you talk to OTHER people about the situation and you think you have it figured out. Then eventually you have a face to face talk with them and realize you had it all wrong.

This has happened to me so many times in life. Nothing beats a direct conversation to help sort out the miscommunications that naturally happen (over and over) in relationships.

And isn’t this true with our relationship with God too? I don’t know about you but I find myself listening to other people tell me about Him (sermons, podcasts, books) and drawing conclusions about my situations based on these things MORE than I find myself going directly to the Word for a face to face “chat”.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s NOTHING wrong with listening and talking ABOUT God… but if you want to avoid miscommunications, nothing beats a direct conversation WITH God (aka reading the scripture for yourself, praying, holding space for God).

If you feel like you never know where to start, or how to read, trust me and try this.

• Take some deep breaths and get intentional
• Pray a really honest and simple prayer like this “Father, I am clearing space for you and I to talk it out. Your word promises that you’ll draw near to me as I draw near to you. I’m here for that. Meet me in Your Word”
• Then flip it open and trust that God will show up! Philippians, Psalms, Ephesians, Colossians, and James are a few of my favorite books for ‘easy’ study

Communication with God is literally what we were made for… if it’s been a minute since you’ve held space for Him, seriously, do it. You might find that you’ve made some assumptions and had some miscommunications that you didn’t even realize were happening.