Richelle Hofer

“Did you remember to take out the garbage?”

“Yes!”

I answered quickly. It was true… I had remembered… several times actually. I just hadn’t DONE it yet. I knew if I moved quickly and quietly I could get it done and my mom would never know that I hadn’t obeyed her the three other times she’d told me to do it.

It was a loophole but I quickly convinced myself that it was the right thing to do. I was saving my mom the frustration of knowing the task was currently incomplete and I would do it right now… she would never have to know.

I went to the kitchen like a ninja and slowly lifted the top off of the swing-top kitchen garbage can… it happened so fast and yet it was like slow motion… three Diet Sprite cans crashed loudly to the floor. I was busted.

You can imagine what happened next… my mom came down the stairs fast and loud. I was frozen in a “oh crap, I’m busted” pose. She was MAD.

I tried to explain that she shouldn’t be mad because I had technically answered honestly. The problem wasn’t me, it was that she hadn’t exactly asked the right question. She should have asked if I had taken the garbage out.

My mom didn’t yell that often so when she did I paid attention. She slammed her hand down on the kitchen counter and shouted “A HALF TRUTH IS THE SAME AS A LIE!”

I didn’t argue. In my heart I knew it was true. My intention was to deceive her even if I’d done so while making a true statement.

I learned this lesson well… my mom wouldn’t let me escape it. But as I entered adulthood, I found myself SURROUNDED by half truths. In politics, in business, in the justice system, in our personal lives, half truths are EVERYWHERE.

“Your words will make you rich!”

“The devil is in the details!”

“Wording is everything”

These are principals that are taught in marketing, to business people, sales people, attorneys and politicians alike.

Certainly there are some truth in these statements. From time to time the details can create confusion and not clarity. Sometimes details actually prevent people from seeing the truth vs help them see the truth. And wording things carefully is VERY important in order to make sure that your message is clear and effective.

But all too often as adults, as professionals and as businesses we cross the line and use the truth to deceive. We leave out pertinent facts, or polish them up because the truth might cost us some business, some votes or result in an uncomfortable conversation.

All too often as adults, as professionals and as businesses we cross the line and use the truth to deceive.

Just because something is “technically” true, doesn’t mean it is honest. If a piece of the truth is used to cause someone to believe something that is NOT true, then that is dishonest. And I see it ALL the time.

Heck, I’ve DONE it! We all have!

How about when we fail to correct someone who misunderstood something because what they understood was better than the truth? Is that really honest?

Everywhere I look the truth is clouded – it is clouded by politicians, it is clouded by regulation and contracts, it is clouded by attorneys and lawsuits, and it is clouded by greed.

But aren’t you sick of it? It might seem hopeless – like it’s one of those things that will always be this way… buyer beware. But this transparency movement starts with each one of us making the change in our own hearts and calling it out with respect when we see it amongst our friends, family, employees and employers (gulp – yep, even the people who sign our paychecks).

It takes courage to be honest when it isn’t comfortable. I don’t know about you but I want to be known for being honest and transparent – even in my flaws. To lean into discomfort for the sake of the whole truth.

Because that is where trust and relationships really begin.