Richelle Hofer

After a negative pre-travel Covid test, in February of this year my husband and I were on a plane to Nassau Bahamas.  In 18 years of marriage we’d only taken a trip without our boys one other time so we were going all out.  

We had booked a butler suite with an ocean view at Sandals Resort.  I had a list of things I was looking forward to having our butler arrange for us… candlelight supper on the beach, a massage, and a picnic on the private island.  

After several hours of travel, we arrived at the resort.  We were tired, but the ocean air was rejuvenating.  We got all settled in, had supper by the ocean and I gave our butler my wishlist for the week.  “One last thing” he said as we were wrapping up our requests, “you have to test for Covid again within 48 hours of arriving on the island.  When would you like me to schedule those tests?”

All of the Covid protocol had been stressing me out: a test before we left the U.S., wearing masks, social distancing, retesting.  I was anxious to forget about the pandemic and enjoy the beach.  I figured we might as well get this last annoyance out of the way as soon as possible.  “Tomorrow morning would be great” I said.  And then we went to bed.

I probably don’t have to tell you what’s coming next. 

We arrived at the testing center first thing in the morning.  “Your results will be emailed to you within 30 minutes” they told us after swabbing our noses. 

We headed for the beach, found our chairs, grabbed our drinks, and my phone dinged. You guessed it: Positive for Covid.  

Here we were in a foreign country, about to start the trip of a lifetime and we’re positive for Covid.

I really felt like I was in the twilight zone.  Here we were in a foreign country, about to start the trip of a lifetime and we are both positive for Covid.  My husband and I sat there sort of frozen for a few minutes… what should we do? We headed straight for our room trying not to come in contact with anyone.

A second test confirmed our positive result.  

For the next 6 days with only a mild sinus headache we watched the ocean while quarantined in our room; we watched other tourists sunning themselves on the beach; we listened to distant music and laughter from all those people enjoying their vacations.

Since the start of the pandemic, Covid had taken the lives of several people we loved.  It had stolen my son’s senior year.  It had caused so much stress, so much controversy and now it had stolen my dream vacation.  

Now let’s just imagine for a minute that it had gone down a little bit differently.

Imagine that someone had come to me and said “You are going to get Covid and you will have to be quarantined.  Before you test positive, though, you are going to fly first class to Nassau Bahamas.  You’ll be quarantined in a room with a view of the ocean.  In fact, it will be so close that you will be able to hear the waves.  You’ll get to hear live music each night.  You’ll have a butler that will deliver food and drink for you from any of the restaurants on the resort any time you want it.  Oh, and your symptoms will be so mild, you’ll hardly even know you’re sick.  You can lay around, read books, play games and nap any old time you want.”

THAT sounds awesome!

It’s the exact same scenario with only one minor difference: expectation.

The trip that I had been expecting was not the trip that I got and that caused me to be disappointed.  

It’s the exact same scenario with only one small difference: expectation.

Many years ago, when my oldest son was just a baby, I was feeling very disappointed and let down by something (I don’t even remember what it was specifically).  I had been praying about it and letting God know how disappointed I was for several days.  You know how it is when you’re disappointed… you play all of these “why did this have to happen?” “this situation was so unfair” scripts and your soul just can’t rest.

Then one night during devotions I came across this verse.  Psalm 62:5  My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him.

That verse came flying off the page of my Bible and implanted itself way in the depths of my heart (in my head there was even sound effects :)).   As soon as I read it I could see clearly what my problem was: I had put my expectation in someone or something and not in God.  I sat there on my couch as I digested the magnitude of this concept. I thought back to every time I’d been disappointed or hurt in my life and I realized it was the same problem every. single. time.  

Psalm 62:5  My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him.

When we truly put our expectations in God, when our expectation is from Him and not from people, we know that no matter how the story twists and turns, God is weaving it all together.  We can trust HIM even when PEOPLE (or things, or processes) don’t do what we thought that they should.  

This concept is so freeing. It frees us and it frees the people that we’ve burdened with meeting our expectations. This has been especially impactful in my marriage. So often I find myself feeling letdown by some expectation that my husband didn’t even know that I had!

When I originally had this “revelation” so-to-speak, I was dealing with what SEEMED like big disappointments. I was working hard at practicing this concept in every area of my life.

Little did I know that just about 4 years later I’d be dealing with the disappointment of learning that my pastor was having an affair.  My pastor happened to be my father.  It was much harder to apply this verse when I was facing THAT kind of disappointment.  Ultimately this verse, Psalm 62:5, and the things that I had been learning and practicing from it saved my faith.  I was able to recognize where I had accidentally built my faith into my dad and worked hard to shift those expectations to my heavenly father.

It’s a hard concept to learn how to believe the best in people without putting your faith in them.  I still haven’t figured it out.  Over and over in my life I find myself feeling devastated by ways that people and things have let me down.

But whenever my head is playing all the scripts and my soul is restless, I quote this verse out loud to myself: 

Soul, be silent.  Wait for God.  My expectation is from him and nothing else. My expectation, my hope, is not in [insert current situation/person]. Lord, help me see where I have planted my expectation in people and help me find my hope in You.