Richelle Hofer

I got my first driving lesson when I was about 4 years old.  My dad would put me on his lap and let me steer all over as we drove slowly through the pasture.  Ten years later (yes, you can drive at 14 in South Dakota – scary, I know) I was alone at the wheel and my dad was in the passengers seat.  I was having a terrible time keeping the car straight.  I would get too close to the center line and then too close to the shoulder. 

Dad watched me closely and quickly identified my problem, “Don’t look at the road that’s right in front of you.  You have to keep your eyes further down the road… that will keep you straight.”

As an inexperienced driver it felt counter intuitive.  He was right of course.  As soon as I lifted up my eyes, it was much easier to keep the car straight (and a lot safer too! ha!)

Twenty (ok fine, thirty) years later, my kids accuse me of turning everything into a life lesson… and they’re right, I do that. But this idea of keeping your eyes down the road is so profound.   

For years I taught my kids that if you get too focused on the immediate you will lose your course and head off track.  “You have to keep your eyes up… look down the road.” I’d say.  For them I was talking about the temptation to focus on temporal things like staying out late with friends and ignoring the test that’s coming on Wednesday.  

But this week I’ve been thinking about this in a whole new light.    

We’ve all been there.  Whether we cheated on a diet or ran into an ex while shopping at the mall… one minute you’re cruising along, the wind is in your hair, you’re future focused and happy; and the next it feels like the wheels have come off and you’re sitting on your butt in the middle of the road. 

I had a moment like that this week.  I didn’t sleep, my tone was flat when I spoke.  I was disinterested and annoyed by practically everything.  

My sister invited me over.  She looked at me with concern and asked “How are you doing?”  “oh, I’m fine” I shrugged.  

Fine in the sense that I wasn’t going to die.  Fine in the sense that I didn’t feel like I needed a straight-jacket.  I was just sitting on my butt in the middle of the road.  I was fine.  

She ignored me.  “You know that things like this are going to happen so what is your plan to get back on track?”  Thank God for my sister who knows how to splash a little water on my face!

She was right, of course.  This is life, I’m going to get knocked off track from time to time, but the faster I can get up, the faster I can get moving on down the road.  So what is my plan?  I’ve never really had an actual plan … I’d never even thought of it!  

I spent a lot of time thinking and I realized that at least for me, when those inevitable situations come… the ones that knock me down, the first thing that happens is that my focus changes.  I immediately take my eyes off of the road in front of me and put them on the road beneath me… or worse yet, the road BEHIND me.  

Instead of staying future focused I start focusing on my momentary failure or rehashing the past.  And THAT is what keeps me on my proverbial butt in the middle of the proverbial road.  

So what is my plan for getting back on track?  Get future focused!  Set my eyes further down the road.  Instead of having all my thoughts wrapped up in the happenings of the moment or the hurts of the past, I have to set future goals and stay future focused.  And just do the next right thing.

Do you have tricks for getting back to cruising mode after a bump knocks your wheels off?  I’d love to hear them!